Grainger took a picture of his chicken, Gloria, and saw the face of Jesus in the feathers in the picture – see the green circle. Gloria the chicken, who was the sole survivor of a 19-chicken massacre by foxes, was NOT named Gloria as an expression of thanks for perhaps divine intervention, but rather was named after Gloria Gaynor, the disco queen who sang “I Will Survive.” Perhaps this was enough to irritate the heavens into sending an image of Jesus to appear on the bird’s feathers. Now, why a chicken should be a vessel for the message of Christian salvation, I can’t explain. This makes no more sense to me than if he appeared on a flag at a water park or on someone’s x-ray.

Of course, someone sees a face in a pattern and POOF! It must be Jesus! Well, I see another face in those feathers. I see a cat face! (See pink circle.) So what’s THAT supposed to mean? Maybe it’s not a cat and is the face of the fox that didn’t manage to make this bird its chicken dinner. Maybe Jesus likes to travel with a pet.

So the next time you are looking to find Jesus, it seems there are three simple steps:

1. Take a picture of something.

2. Squint hard to find some pattern in the picture that looks like a face.

3. Call the pattern an image of Jesus. Done!

Don’t ask me what you’re supposed to do with Jesus when you find him. Alerting the media seems to be the popular thing to do, though I would think consulting a priest might be a little more appropriate, though way less entertaining.

- Julie

P.S. Do check out the Halesowen News link below. The reporter clearly had a good time writing the story.

Sources:
http://www.halesowennews.co.uk/news/8286801.Jesus_Christ_super_chicken_is_heav_hen_sent_for_amazed_Rowley_Regis_policeman/?ref=mr
http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/835932-jesus-found-in-chickens-feathers

Photo by Thomas Roy

Kevin Dumont, the owner of the Liquid Planet Water Park in Candia, New Hampshire, says he has seen the image of Jesus in a lifeguard station flag at the park.  Dumont has asked his pastor to examine the flag.

Business had been terrible for the water park over the last two years, but it has miraculously picked up since Dumont alerted the media to the alleged apparition. Dumont claims he had asked for a miracle to turn around the poorly performing park and says he’s pretty sure he got one in the form of this flag with some strange stains on it. Um, Mr. Dumont, it’s not a divine miracle that business picks up when you promote something like this to the local media. It’s called marketing. I’m pretty sure he knows this already but is not about to back off from the “It’s a miracle! Jesus at my water park! Everyone come see! and pay an entrance fee!” mantra any time soon. Maybe the owners of Six Flags will see this story and soon we’ll be seeing reports of the Virgin Mary appearing somewhere on the Batman roller coaster. Maybe Dollywood can advertise being haunted by the ghost of Porter Wagoner.

I’m not saying Jesus isn’t making appearances now and then, but this is every bit as silly as appearing on a grilled cheese sandwich. Now, appearing in the swirls of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? THAT would be impressive and just might wake people up. Maybe the image of Jesus is just taking a little R&R breather at the water park to store up the energy to pull off the Savior in the Slick trick. If he shows up in an elephant ear or a fried Snickers bar, though, I think it might be time to start thinking the heavens are just mocking us for their own good time. Who could blame them, really, as most of us are far more interested in Lindsey Lohan going to jail than the destruction of a major ecosystem and resulting financial disaster that, combined with the super fun economic times around the world, makes for some pretty scary stuff that we really ought to be both paying attention to and trying to fix.

Does the image on the flag look like Jesus? I don’t know. I don’t know what he really looked like. I think it does kind of look like Lenin, or Snoop Dog, or maybe Obi Wan Kenobi with one of those aliens from the Mos Eisley cantina band on either side. Even Dumont’s sister thinks it looks like a gladiator, or maybe the Beatles. Who do you think it looks like?

Photo by Google

Jesus has also been seen appearing in a field in a Google Maps image. What do you suppose this is supposed to mean, especially since it can’t even be detected on the ground? Is this some kind of holy graffiti? Once again, it’s a pretty hazy image, and I’m not sure who it looks like.  I’ve never heard of Jesus sporting a Hitler-stache, which the “face” in this image seems to have.

Photo from www.dtinews.vn

Perhaps not wanting to be forgotten in the shadow of that attention-seeking Jesus, Buddha has now also gotten into the apparition racket. Rubber plantation workers in the Ben Cat District of the Binh Duong Province in Vietnam came across an ant hill in the shape of the seated meditating Budhha.  The enigma is attracting thousands of visitors, so many that the government has asked for the removal of the ant hill to a pagoda so people can visit it without disrupting the plantation area. This just wreaks havoc with my fantasy iconographic apparition team stats.

- Julie

Sources:
http://unionleader.com/article.aspx?headline=At+Candia+water+park,+some+see+Jesus+in+lifeguard+flag&articleId=32b56755-ac25-4ae7-9f79-06490d1c15ec
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38153106/ns/travel/
http://www.necn.com/07/08/10/Jesus-in-New-Hampshire-water-park-flag-/landing.html?blockID=268118&feedID=4215
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/picturesoftheday/7872137/Pictures-of-the-day-5-July-2010.html
http://www.dtinews.vn/news/news/headlines/workers-discover-buddha-ant-hill_3477.html

Fortunately, no one was killed. The driver of a semi-trailer had his head, legs, and arms pinned in his truck, and it took a long time to extract him. An officer on the scene said, “He couldn’t have done much worse but somehow he managed to stay in the void and stay alive.” Maybe this Jesus saved, too.

It is unknown in the naked man has been charged with any offense, and his name has not been released. Maybe it really is Jesus, just not THAT Jesus.

Do you suppose anyone involved in the crash yelled “Jesus!” just before impact?

- Julie

Sources:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/06/06/ap/strange/main6553674.shtml
http://www.thehour.com/story/487389

Lungs, toast, fruit, I don’t get it. If it ever really is the image of Jesus in these things, what could he possibly be trying to tell us by appearing in such strange places? Maybe he’s testing to see if we’ve developed sufficiently advanced analytical skills to figure it out before revealing anything more profound. Or maybe if we could understand we’d see it was profound already.

Who knows if this even looks like what Jesus really looked like. I think it kind of looks like Frank Zappa with a weird haircut, or maybe Captain Jonathan from Deadliest Catch.

- Julie

Source:

http://improbable.com/2010/04/25/jesus-in-a-lung/