Undead, Drunk, And Cannibalistic Is No Way To Go Through Life

05.28.2010 · Posted in Vampires, Weird Criminals

A little bit “Twilight,” a little bit Hannibal Lecter, and a whole lot of booze: a combination sure to lead to jail.

Andrew Whiteman, 21, an Oberlin College student from Royal Oak, Michigan, was arrested in Lorain County, Ohio last weekend on charges intimidation and disorderly conduct while being voluntarily intoxicated. Whiteman was trying to break in to a drug store when police found him.  He displayed all the hallmark signs of a serious night of college partying: slurred speech, bloodshot eyes, and an overwhelming odor of alcohol. Whiteman was also very muddy and soaking wet, like he’d been flopping around in a creek bed.

So, really, nothing at all remarkable about the guy, until he was arrested. At that point, Whiteman told the arresting officers they were in trouble because he was a vampire over 100 years old. Hmm, “Whiteman.” Maybe a pun on being really pale on account of the undeadness? He also claimed he could smell the officers’ blood from the back of the patrol car and mentioned he would like to imbibe it. Sounds like he already did enough imbibing for the night. Whitman further said he would live forever and threatened to kill one of the officers and the officer’s children.

Upon reaching the jail, switched movie genres ever so slightly and told a female officer that he wanted to eat her kidney.

What a nice young man. Someone should tell him that’s not the kind of sexy vampire behavior the young ladies are going for these days.

Whiteman has apparently survived exposure to daylight and has pleaded not guilty.

– Julie



Just Because It Might Be Evil Doesn’t Mean It’s Satanic

05.27.2010 · Posted in Legally Weird, Miscellaneous

School safety officer Velma Craig sued the City of New York and the NYPD over what she called a demonic identification card. She refused to wear the card because she claimed the fingerprints on the card and computer chips were “marks of the beast.” Craig was fired for refusing to wear the card, so she sued for religious discrimination.

The City failed to respond to a judge’s request for an explanation of why and how it would be unduly burdened by allowing Ms. Craig to not wear the card, so the judge ruled in Craig’s favor. The City will appeal the decision after a jury awards damages to Craig, who was seeking $7.7 million.

This news made me wonder how it could be possible that anyone would think an ID card chip contained the mark of the beast. The writer of two pages over at the Index of the Web (see links below) seems to think he explains this, but while there is some good paranoid explanation of how barcodes and RFID chips can be used for some scary purposes, there is still no explanation of a satanic connection.

I once edited a book about work-from-home job ideas, and one of them was to be a person who examined people’s bills and other correspondence for satanic signs. I am not kidding. The author really suggested this as a career. So maybe someone really does this for a living and could pipe up and offer some insight on finding the mark of the beast in RFID chips. Any takers?

It will be interesting to see how this whole case plays out in the end. Maybe next someone will sue about being made to remove a tinfoil hat.




You Know How Some Say God Is Inside All Of Us?

05.27.2010 · Posted in Miscellaneous

Vittore-Tribble_jesus_heart_image_250px Well, an image that some have interpreted as the face of Jesus appeared on an MRI scan of a man’s lung in Illinois.

Lungs, toast, fruit, I don’t get it. If it ever really is the image of Jesus in these things, what could he possibly be trying to tell us by appearing in such strange places? Maybe he’s testing to see if we’ve developed sufficiently advanced analytical skills to figure it out before revealing anything more profound. Or maybe if we could understand we’d see it was profound already.

Who knows if this even looks like what Jesus really looked like. I think it kind of looks like Frank Zappa with a weird haircut, or maybe Captain Jonathan from Deadliest Catch.

– Julie



More Paranormal Philanthropy

05.27.2010 · Posted in Fundraising, Miscellaneous

ghostcharity For all the focus on the deceased and the otherworldly, the paranormal community seems to have a pretty good grounding in the present. Even more paranormal investigation events are being hosted as fundraisers for local charities.

In May and June 2010, the National Brewery Centre, in Burton upon Trent, Staffordshire, England, is hosting several paranormal events in partnership with Research into the Paranormal to help generate funds for the Burton Queen’s Hospital Scanner Appeal. The bar area of the brewery is reported to be haunted, so it seems to be a suitable site for investigations.

On May 22, 2010, West Coast Ghost and Paranormal Society and Phoenix Comicon partnered to host a paranormal investigation of the Orpheum Theater in Phoenix to benefit the Kids Need to Read! program.

– Julie



Deity-Sanctioned Public Nudity Still Illegal

05.26.2010 · Posted in Weird Criminals

godtoldmetobenude Shafiq Mohamed was arrested and charged with obscenity after walking naked in Thibodeaux, Louisiana at 2:00 am on Thursday, May 20, 2010. Mohamed explained that God had told him to walk naked to save his soul.

No word on whether God has told him to retain counsel.

– Julie



All Bark, No Sprite?

05.26.2010 · Posted in Ghosts, Miscellaneous

CarloRamsky3Carlo Ramsky believes there are spirits in the trees near the canal path between Newbury and Kintbury, England.

Most people who have seen the photos say the faces seem to be something the eye picks out from normal variations in bark pattern and tree shape. People tend to see faces in things, such as electrical sockets, rock formations (e.g., the face on Mars), clouds, etc. This is a phenomenon called “pareidolia.” This tendency is put to use in things like Rorschach inkblot tests and is also thought to be behind some detection of words by people working with EVP.

CarloRamsky1I have seen some photos of parts of trees that really do look like bodies or faces. Even with squinting, Ramsky’s extremely blurry photos don’t seem to contain anything out of the ordinary.

Ramsky is a wood machinist, however. Perhaps that helps him see things in these trees that others can’t.

– Julie



Good News For The Infertile And Underfunded

05.26.2010 · Posted in Witchcraft

Hayley Byrne had tried fertility treatments for years and had run out of affordable options. Facing a long wait for publicly funded treatment, Hayley donned a fertility bracelet made for her by her mother.

Four weeks after she began wearing the bracelet, Byrne discovered she was pregnant. Byrne gained a new respect for her mother’s Wiccan practices, and she relied on crystals and prayers instead of painkillers during childbirth. She claims giving birth was easy and painless to the point of surprising the midwife.

Apparently you can buy fertility bracelets from all kinds of places, even Amazon.com. I don’t know, but I would think if these kinds of things really work, they are probably way more effective when made for you specifically by someone who cares about you than when they are purchased anonymously on the web. Then again, just about anything seems better than painful procedures that require a second mortgage.

– Julie



Spirit Portal In The Kitchen

05.25.2010 · Posted in Ghosts, Hauntings

1907_First_Christian_ChurchThe First Christian Church in Rialto, California, built in the early 1900s, may be haunted by a girl who died in 1967. Kristina Hendrickson died of leukemia, and her father, who had bought the church to keep it from being torn down, had her ashes displayed in a case in the church. For a while, people reported seeing an apparition of a little girl matching Kristina’s description. The ghost has appeared in people’s pictures as well. No one has reported a sighting of the little girl since her father died.

There are still a few other spirits haunting the church, including a woman with dark hair wearing a white dress. Odd phenomena occur in the church, too, such as floating glasses of water, a door that opens by itself, and ghostly footsteps. Various paranormal investigators are convinced there is a spirit portal in the kitchen.

I guess the phrase “everyone always ends up in the kitchen” can ring true even for afterlife gatherings. The last time I heard of a paranormal portal in a kitchen, though, it was in Ghostbusters and was inside a refrigerator.

– Julie



Pond Monster Or Urban Legend Come True?

05.25.2010 · Posted in Lake Monsters


photo by Tom Badeau, from ottawa.ctv.ca

People have seen what they think is likely to be a crocodile in Hamilton Pond, Ontario, Canada. Bry Loyst, curator of the nearby Indian River Reptile Zoo, thinks it is a former pet that was released because it grew too large to keep.

Apparently, reptile dumping is becoming a frequent problem in Western Canada. Well, if this turns out to be something other than a crocodile or alligator, then we’ve got a possible cryptozoology find, and if not, then we’ve got confirmation of the old urban legend about people releasing pet crocs into the wild. It’s a weird win either way. Just not for the animal itself.

– Julie



Google Translate Failed To Tell Me How To Say Goatsucker In Polish

05.25.2010 · Posted in Chupacabra, Cryptozoology

chupa El Chupacabra continues its international journey. Not content to remain in North and South America, Chupie has made its way to Poland.

In 2009, people in Poland reported dead animals that seemed to have had all of their fluids removed through tiny holes. Apparently, these kinds of killings are happening again.

Some residents of Kornelin have even reported seeing a creature that matches reports of Chupacabra sightings from North America.

This isn’t the first report of Chupacabra sightings in Central or Eastern Europe. In March 2005 there were reports of a blood-sucking beast that killed and drained thirty-two turkeys in one night. The killer later sucked dry thirty sheep, several goats, and thirty small horned cattle. Once again, witness accounts seem to describe a “typical” chupacabra: part reptile, part giant dog, part kangaroo.

Bigfoot gets some different names (Sasquatch, Yeti, Yeren, Yowie, etc.) depending on where the sightings are. I wonder if the Chupacabra will get some new monikers as it makes its way around the globe. I hope not. “Chupacabra” is fun to say. Way more fun than “goatsucker.” Chupacabra sounds like a dance, or maybe something kind of cute and cuddly. Which is all the better to lure people into a false sense of security so it can sneak up and gruesomely murder all their livestock. Well, not as gruesome as what the cattle mutilators do, and I guess easier to clean up, but pretty freaky nonetheless.

– Julie