Is This As Close As Jesus Gets To Taking A Vacation?

07.12.2010 · Posted in Miracles/Hoaxes
Jesus water park flag

Photo by Thomas Roy

Kevin Dumont, the owner of the Liquid Planet Water Park in Candia, New Hampshire, says he has seen the image of Jesus in a lifeguard station flag at the park.  Dumont has asked his pastor to examine the flag.

Business had been terrible for the water park over the last two years, but it has miraculously picked up since Dumont alerted the media to the alleged apparition. Dumont claims he had asked for a miracle to turn around the poorly performing park and says he’s pretty sure he got one in the form of this flag with some strange stains on it. Um, Mr. Dumont, it’s not a divine miracle that business picks up when you promote something like this to the local media. It’s called marketing. I’m pretty sure he knows this already but is not about to back off from the “It’s a miracle! Jesus at my water park! Everyone come see! and pay an entrance fee!” mantra any time soon. Maybe the owners of Six Flags will see this story and soon we’ll be seeing reports of the Virgin Mary appearing somewhere on the Batman roller coaster. Maybe Dollywood can advertise being haunted by the ghost of Porter Wagoner.

jesus in an elephant earI’m not saying Jesus isn’t making appearances now and then, but this is every bit as silly as appearing on a grilled cheese sandwich. Now, appearing in the swirls of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico? THAT would be impressive and just might wake people up. Maybe the image of Jesus is just taking a little R&R breather at the water park to store up the energy to pull off the Savior in the Slick trick. If he shows up in an elephant ear or a fried Snickers bar, though, I think it might be time to start thinking the heavens are just mocking us for their own good time. Who could blame them, really, as most of us are far more interested in Lindsey Lohan going to jail than the destruction of a major ecosystem and resulting financial disaster that, combined with the super fun economic times around the world, makes for some pretty scary stuff that we really ought to be both paying attention to and trying to fix.

Does the image on the flag look like Jesus? I don’t know. I don’t know what he really looked like. I think it does kind of look like Lenin, or Snoop Dog, or maybe Obi Wan Kenobi with one of those aliens from the Mos Eisley cantina band on either side. Even Dumont’s sister thinks it looks like a gladiator, or maybe the Beatles. Who do you think it looks like?

jesus in a field

Photo by Google

Jesus has also been seen appearing in a field in a Google Maps image. What do you suppose this is supposed to mean, especially since it can’t even be detected on the ground? Is this some kind of holy graffiti? Once again, it’s a pretty hazy image, and I’m not sure who it looks like.  I’ve never heard of Jesus sporting a Hitler-stache, which the “face” in this image seems to have.

Ant hill Buddha

Photo from

Perhaps not wanting to be forgotten in the shadow of that attention-seeking Jesus, Buddha has now also gotten into the apparition racket. Rubber plantation workers in the Ben Cat District of the Binh Duong Province in Vietnam came across an ant hill in the shape of the seated meditating Budhha.  The enigma is attracting thousands of visitors, so many that the government has asked for the removal of the ant hill to a pagoda so people can visit it without disrupting the plantation area. This just wreaks havoc with my fantasy iconographic apparition team stats.

– Julie


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