Scary Questions, Part 4

07.05.2010 · Posted in Demons, Miscellaneous, Scary Questions, Witchcraft

Scary QuestionsMore fun with frightening queries!

Scary Question Number 8:

What type of person do demons usually go after?

If you have to post this question on a message board, you clearly haven’t been watching enough monster movies and tv shows. You could just about trip over one in your living room these days, so it’s not that hard. I do wonder if this person is asking this question in order to find out how to attract or to ward off demons. Maybe they just want to know if they go after people with blue eyes who enjoy long walks on the beach.


Scary Question Number 9:

Q: Have you ever personally experienced something clearly supernatural or preternatural?

A: I once had a panic attack and thought I was possessed. Turns out I just can’t take pseudaphedrine, which is what they use from cold medicine to make meth, and can have quite the effect on the nervous system! But that’s the closest I’ve ever come to anything “paranormal.”

I think this may be my favorite question yet. I accidentally took a double dose of pseudoephedrine once, and it sure as hell didn’t feel like anything supernatural. I had a lot of energy, but I didn’t feel like I could lift a truck off of anyone, so it’s a good thing I didn’t need to. My house sure got clean. How anyone could think feeling jittery and kind of ill while unable to sit still could be possession beats me. That would be one lame-ass demon. Maybe its sister would make her possessed people temporarily feel socially awkward and bad at math.

Maybe I’m just not very creative for thinking “perhaps these are side effects of that new medication I just took” instead of “oh my God, surely I am possessed!” whenever I feel a little strange after taking pills.


Scary Question Number 10:

What is a spell to turn yourself into a witch?

Really? If that was how it worked, how exactly would that work? Wouldn’t you have to be a witch to know and be able to perform spells?

I’ve never even heard of spells to turn anyone into a witch. A toad, yes. Or even a hoagie.

Maybe this is like trying to use Cliff’s Notes for a thesis, or buying a term paper off of the internet (and shame on those of you who do that, by the way)? A shortcut to becoming a witch to avoid the pesky birthright requirement or actual study and practice?

Also, if you ask questions this silly, and are in to loopholes and shortcuts, good luck ever having the sense to practice effective witchery. Might want to check the status of your homeowner’s insurance . . .


Have you seen any questions about the supernatural that made you cringe or slap your forehead? Please send them in for mockery and snarkiness!

– Julie

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